‘Immortals’ Needs To Pull The Plug

Posted in Tinker Tailor Solider Spy Status on February 3, 2012 by hollywoodclassified

Ok. Let’s recap the meaning of the word ‘immortal’.

Immortal: im-mor-tal
1. Living forever
Synonyms: deathless, timeless, indestructible.

And the biggest fact we know of the Grecian Gods is:
They don’t die…because their immortal!

So, why do they die????

They storyline is somewhat strong, its sturdy enough so your not lost among all the characters. But its weak enough for a one-time watch to be enough. The story is about revenge and the will to fight evil. A typical theme to a Greek myth, but the movie includes bedazzled weapons and costumes. And unusual headwear for the gods, (along with only half the gods present in the film).
Looking and thinking back on this movie it wasn’t that bad, but some of the acting could’ve been improved. The costumes could have been tweaked a bit. The parts where they slowed the film down to make the gods more god-like could’ve been cut a bit. Some of the lines didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Yeah. Basically the movie failed.

But at least it had sparkles.


The Iron Lady…Past and Present

Posted in Fight Club Status, Wes Craven Status on January 17, 2012 by hollywoodclassified

The point of this movie is to show Margaret Thatchers’ side of her political decisions that made her the controversial figure she became. Not to continue back and forth with flashbacks and flash forwards to the point of making your head spin.

The point of the film is understood. Margaret Thatcher had a rough start in her political career but rose up to the challenge and became prime minister. And in her later years was slightly confused but is overall capable of making and running her own decisions.

Yeup. That’s it. Pretty straightforward.

Yet, this movie just drags on and feels longer than it should. The director, Phyllida Lloyd, doesn’t have much experience as a director of large films like this one could have been but does an alright job nonetheless.

Principally, this movie could have been so much better. If the director had a classic vision of how a biography like this should be filmed. This movie is about her political career so let it stand for that and only that. If you want the film to be about her as a human being, then you should do a movie like that by itself. I’m not saying to have a Margaret Thatcher series in the theaters, but either do one or the other. Now its more obvious that the political version would do better in theaters than the human interest one so combine them. Fine then. But do it a different way than this film did.

Tinker Tailor….I Forget The Rest

Posted in Tinker Tailor Solider Spy Status on January 7, 2012 by hollywoodclassified

As if the title wasn’t long enough, the movie was even longer.

Storyline: a British intelligence agent comes out of retirement to find a double agent who sells secrets to the Soviets in the early 1970’s.

Actual Film: Gary Oldman swimming and a bunch of other people you can’t keep track of passing files back and forth.

2 hours and 7 minutes. I could’ve been home by then with a good book and left over breadsticks from Pat and Oscars. But no, I gave this movie a chance and it failed me!

It starts off well, a lot of action going on in another foreign country and then we see a day in the life of agent George Smiley (Oldman). Shockingly, the man never smiles. He tries to solve the mystery a dead colleague leaves behind and very, very, very slowly succeeds.

So, the idea behind this movie is great. The presentation of it sucks.

‘Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of’ Predictable ‘Shadows’

Posted in Uncategorized on January 6, 2012 by hollywoodclassified

Robert Downey Jr. Yes, one of the great gods of acting. His latest film, however, isn’t exactly living up to great expectations.

Remember the first film, when the thought process before he kicked the crap out of someone was incredible and made sense? Can you spell: overdone?

By itself the movie is just fine, but as a set with the previous film its a bust. I’d put this sequel alongside Hangover part II, Dead Man’s Chest, and Grease 2. The shelf of the lame movies, where they usually go to collect dust and only be watches during an extreme sugar rush period.

There were so many little annoying things in the movie but the storyline didn’t suck so that’s a plus. It’s not a bad movie, I’m just saying that if your going to see it in theaters, bring good company.

The Millionth Installment of the ‘Three Musketeers’

Posted in Anonymous Status on January 4, 2012 by hollywoodclassified

The Three Musketeers remake of 2011.
I’ll be honest, I had very low expectations for this motion picture. Logan Lerman with long hair? Not quite a pretty picture. But significantly better than Justin Bieber (sorry kid, your annoyingly unoriginal and repetitive in your musical decisions)

But when I walked out of the theater, I was amazed. Lerman’s hair looked slightly better by the end of the movie and it was nothing like I thought it would be.

Alex Litvak and Andrew Davies made a diamond out of Alexandre Dumas’ coal. These men twisted the classic tale and made it their own awesome, modern version. I expect great things from the crew of this movie.

I’ve seen most of the Musketeer films and, as usual, expected it to copy off of one of them. But nope. It combined them all from Gene Kellys’ moves to Oliver Platts’ disgraceful but comical drinking habits.

This film is original yet respectful to its initial storyline. Which is always a good sign for an excellent sequel!

It Truly Was ‘Anonymous’

Posted in Anonymous Status on January 4, 2012 by hollywoodclassified

Who remembers seeing commercials for this movie? The story of the true genius behind Romeo&Juliet, Henry VII, sonnet #42, and all that other stuff.
This film tells about the life of the ‘true’ author of all the beautiful works, the Earl of Oxford. During a supposed time when creative writing was unholy, but he continued. Throughout his distraught life you can see that his plays reflect exaggerated parts of his life.

Why do I feel that this low-budget, barely advertised film deserves recognition?

Because this film has something I’ve never seen in another modern film. In my opinion anyway. I can’t exactly say what this movie has. But the story doesn’t hide behind a pretty face like Johnny Depp or Ryan Reynolds. There are no impressive castles or sparkling royal jewels to control where you look.

It’s purely about the story of an oppressed man whose only freedom is writing beautiful words. This is his only expression and reflection of a life he desperately wanted but couldn’t have.

His greatest gift and most damning curse was his writings.

This is the most incredible film I’ve seen in my entire life because nothing is hidden. Everything is out in the open.

So watch the movie and tell me I’m wrong. I dare you.

New Kid on the Block

Posted in Uncategorized on January 3, 2012 by hollywoodclassified

This first blog I’m posting is just a deeper introduction of what I’d like to accomplish in my blog.

I don’t want to be another stuffy critic, analyzing the actors and story-lines to death like a dead horse in Marnie. I want to open a new perspective and keep an open mind about actors I don’t like (*cough, hack* Kristin Stewart in Twilight) or themes that have been overused (*cough* zombies taking over the world). Sure there are things we just don’t like, it doesn’t mean that we can be surprised every once in awhile.

So, why not sit down and watch the latest installment of Mission Impossible? Why not compare Oceans’ Eleven with the original Ocean’s Eleven?

Movies let us forget about our lives for a minute or two, and let us fight along with Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean and party with Jay Gatsby.

Why not let me make a career out of it for a bit? 😉